In an increasingly connected world, it’s easy to wonder: how many people do we actually know? The question isn’t as simple as it seems, because it depends on what we mean by “know.” Is it about deep, meaningful relationships? Casual acquaintances? Or does it include people who used to be part of our lives but have drifted away? The answer varies based on how we define and categorize the people in our social circles.

Let’s explore the nuances of what it means to “know” someone and how that shapes the number of people we might claim as part of our social universe.

Defining “Knowing” Someone

The word “know” can mean different things depending on the context. Here are a few possible definitions:

  1. Close Relationships:
    These are people you have meaningful, ongoing connections with. They know you on a personal level, and you actively engage with them—family, close friends, and maybe a handful of coworkers or neighbors.
  2. Acquaintances:
    These are people you recognize, and they recognize you. You might not talk often, but you have a basic awareness of each other’s lives. This could include coworkers, classmates, or people you occasionally see in social settings.
  3. Past Connections:
    These are people who used to be part of your life but are no longer actively involved. You might see them on social media or occasionally run into them, but they’re no longer part of your regular world.
  4. Weak Ties:
    This category includes people you know in passing or through loose associations—like a barista who serves you coffee regularly or a friend of a friend you see at group events. You might know their name and face, but your connection is minimal.
  5. Digital Connections:
    With the rise of social media, many of us are “connected” to hundreds or even thousands of people we don’t truly know. These connections might represent anything from casual acquaintances to people you’ve never met in person.

The Numbers Behind Knowing

Studies on social networks provide some insight into how many people the average person knows:

  1. Dunbar’s Number (150):
    Anthropologist Robin Dunbar theorized that humans can maintain meaningful relationships with about 150 people at a time. This includes close friends, family, and acquaintances. Beyond this number, it becomes difficult to sustain regular social contact.
  2. Close Relationships (5–15):
    Within Dunbar’s 150, only 5–15 people are typically considered “close.” These are the individuals you turn to in times of need and share your life with in detail.
  3. Extended Networks (500–1,500):
    Dunbar also suggested that people have a wider circle of up to 1,500 individuals they recognize or have some form of social connection with. This might include weak ties and past relationships.
  4. Social Media Connections:
    Many of us have far more than 150 Facebook friends or LinkedIn connections. However, research shows that the vast majority of these connections don’t represent meaningful relationships. On average, people interact regularly with only a small percentage of their social media contacts.

Do Acquaintances and Past Connections Count?

Whether or not acquaintances and past connections count as people you “know” depends on your perspective:

  • If Recognition Equals Knowing:
    If you define “knowing” someone as simply recognizing their face and name, then acquaintances and even weak ties count.
  • If Interaction Equals Knowing:
    If you require some level of ongoing interaction, acquaintances and past connections might only count if you occasionally engage with them, like commenting on their social media posts or saying hello at an event.
  • If Depth Equals Knowing:
    If you believe “knowing” someone involves a deeper understanding of their personality, values, and life, then acquaintances and distant connections likely don’t make the cut.

The Value of Knowing Fewer People

While the number of people we know can feel like a badge of honor in our hyperconnected world, quality often matters more than quantity. Maintaining meaningful relationships with a smaller group of people provides emotional support, trust, and a sense of belonging.

On the other hand, having a broader network of weak ties can also be beneficial, especially for opportunities like career advancement or learning new perspectives.

Does It Depend on the Definition?

Yes, it absolutely does. The number of people you “know” can vary widely depending on how you define the word. Some people might focus on deep, personal connections, while others might count casual acquaintances and past relationships.

In the end, what matters most is not the size of your network but the strength and authenticity of your relationships. Whether you “know” 50 people or 1,500, the key is how those connections enrich your life and the lives of others.