When someone gives us unsolicited advice, it can feel intrusive or even unwelcome. Yet, more often than not, these individuals have good intentions. They offer advice because they care, have a different perspective, or want to help us avoid mistakes. Sometimes their input is valuable and worth considering. Other times, it may miss the mark.

Ultimately, when it comes to making important decisions, the person best equipped to decide is you. Here’s why it’s important to balance the advice of others with your own unique knowledge and intuition.

Why People Give Unsolicited Advice

Unsolicited advice is often rooted in kindness or concern. People share their perspective because:

  • They’ve been there before: They’ve faced similar challenges and want to share what worked (or didn’t work) for them.
  • They see a blind spot: Their outside perspective allows them to notice something you might overlook.
  • They want to protect you: Their advice is an effort to help you avoid pain, failure, or regret.

While their intentions are often genuine, advice-givers don’t always have the full picture. Their perspectives are shaped by their own experiences, values, and biases, which may not align with your situation.

The Value of Listening

Even if the advice is unsolicited, there’s often value in hearing it out. Someone else’s perspective can provide:

  • A fresh lens: They may highlight something you hadn’t considered.
  • Lessons learned: They might share wisdom gained from their own successes or failures.
  • Validation: Even if you disagree with their advice, it can help clarify your own thoughts.

By listening with an open mind, you can extract useful insights without feeling obligated to follow their suggestions.

Why You Know Best

While others can provide helpful perspectives, you are in the best position to make decisions about your own life. Here’s why:

1. You Have the Full Picture

Advice-givers only know what they see from the outside or what you’ve chosen to share. They don’t have access to the nuances of your situation—your priorities, emotions, values, or long-term goals. You are the only one who can weigh all the factors, both known to others and known only to yourself.

2. Your Values Are Unique

What’s right for someone else may not be right for you. People often give advice based on what they value most, whether it’s security, ambition, or tradition. But your values might differ, and your decisions should reflect what matters most to you—not someone else.

3. You Bear the Consequences

At the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with the outcome of your decisions. Making choices to please others may avoid conflict in the short term, but it often leads to resentment or regret later on.

How to Balance Advice and Autonomy

When faced with unsolicited advice, here’s how to approach it constructively:

1. Listen with an Open Mind

Even if the advice feels unwanted, resist the urge to dismiss it immediately. Hear the person out—you might uncover a valuable insight or perspective.

2. Filter the Advice

Ask yourself:

  • Does this align with my goals and values?
  • Does this person have relevant experience or knowledge?
  • Am I considering this advice because it’s helpful, or because I feel pressured to please them?

By filtering advice through these questions, you can separate what’s useful from what isn’t.

3. Trust Your Judgment

Take the information you’ve received—both from others and from your own understanding of the situation—and make a decision based on all the available data. Remember, you are the one best equipped to decide what’s right for you.

4. Be Gracious, Even When You Disagree

If you choose not to follow the advice, thank the person for their input. Let them know you’ve considered it, even if you’ve made a different choice. This approach maintains goodwill without compromising your autonomy.

Avoiding Decisions to Please Others

One of the biggest traps in decision-making is prioritizing others’ approval over your own instincts. While it’s natural to want to avoid disappointing people, making choices solely to please others often leads to frustration and regret.

Instead, focus on making decisions that align with your goals, values, and unique circumstances. The people who truly care about you will respect your right to choose, even if they don’t agree with your decision.

Conclusion

Unsolicited advice can feel intrusive, but it’s often well-intentioned and occasionally valuable. Listening with an open mind allows you to glean useful insights while maintaining your autonomy.

Ultimately, the best decisions come from combining external input with your own understanding of your life. Remember, you have access to information others don’t, and you are the one who will live with the outcomes. Trust yourself to make the call—because you are, and always will be, the best decision-maker for your own life.